Thursday, December 25, 2008

a poem of hope for Christmas, 2008

location st. louis

statistics 1 (jesu who would like to try harder next year)
1 (semi-serious poem that could go either way)

St. Louis, Christmas 2008

All my friends
by now I thought they'd be sell-outs
but instead they are desperate.

On the verge of 30-years-old.
Barely any of us married.
One child among my great circle.
For what do we wait?
Or have we decided to end the race?
A generation that just said no
to future generations.

The one true piece of advice
I ever remember my dad giving me
was, "Don't ever go bald."
As a boy I used to say
"My dad's hair" flooop! "flew out the window."

All my friends
only care in bursts
late nights, last calls, post-love.
Without marriage and family
we need a new destination.

We haven't figured that part out yet.

I remember a second piece of advice from dad:
"If you think you're going to get into a fight,

Twice a day I wear a plastic glove and put on the
chemicals. And I keep my hair.
Is this what he meant?

I will text my friends this Christmas.
I will say a prayer for my dad.
Almost 30, country is rivers of
dollars on fire, alone, lonely us all
beautiful brave only with words, alone
I say to us all, Rejoice!
We are our families.
We are raising
each other
brothers + sisters + mothers + sons by concurrently being alive
(and that enough proof of our relations).

Knees and palms and foreheads
pressed to rugs
in infinity prayers

Thursday, December 18, 2008

alternate Christmas gift idea (non-joke)

location Christmas time

stats 26 (disadvantaged kids you could make happier with one small gift than you could make anyone you know happy with a big one)

pictures are of on the right is the house. on the left is a pic of the townships, where the majority of South Africans live.

Christmas shopping is the worst, right? You can get somebody what they want, but does your chubby Aunt Sadie really need any more Kit Kats? (I think not.) Or, you can get somebody what they need. But I'm not sure buying Aunt Sadie extra-support panty hose is exactly in the Christmas spirit either.

Oh Christmas miracle! Your buddy Jesse has the answer to your Christmas shopping dilemma!

So... I'm heading back to South Africa this February to do more volunteering at Beth Uriel, a home for boys and young men from the streets and townships of Cape Town. These boys come from a place of poverty unfathomable to most of us. Even in our toughest economic times we know that we will, at least, never know true hunger. We know that someone will always take us in. For these boys, being at a place like Beth Uriel, where they are fed and can sleep in peace, it is like Christmas every day. To a man they say that Beth Uriel is the best thing that ever happened to them; in fact, many will tell you it saved their life.

Just as an idea, I'd like to suggest getting your Aunt Sadie (and anyone else) a gift for the boys of Beth Uriel for Christmas. Don't you think this would make Aunt Sadie feel good, maybe even better than that after-Kit Kat-high? Unlike a lot of charities, where the bulk of your donation goes to administrators and other 'costs,' the money you donate will go straight to the boys. There is no middle man. Just your old pal Jesse.

There's two ways of doing this:
1) Donate (tax deductible) directly to Beth Uriel.

2) You can send me a check and I will make purchases for you. (Every penny.) If you make specific purchases for the boys I will make sure to send you a picture of the boy with his gift, and to also write you (and/or Aunt Sadie) a little scene about how the gift affected the individual.
Here is my address:
Jesse Scaccia
9 Bon Price Ter
St. Louis, MO 63132
(Just make the check out to me (sorry, simplest way).)

Here are how much some things cost. I'm more than happy to buy exactly what you want me to.
School uniform $30
Trip to KFC (you get bet they Love KFC if I'm giving you this figure) for entire house $60
Trip to KFC for one $4
Button down shirt for job interviews $10
Soccer boots (their favorite sport) $35
School supplies for one family member $25
Sneakers $10
Baseball hat $5
Dinner for two at a restaurant (there's no way they can afford a date on their own) $8

And, of course, if you were planning on getting me a Christmas gift, this is what I want the most.

We. Are. All Blessed.

With love,
- Jesse

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Good Lord, 'O' Magazine Readers

location Oprah

Sooooo... I was sending an email to Oprah (WHICH IS MY GOD GIVEN RIGHT) when I noticed this important message at the bottom of the web form. Before you read that, hear me now: If you have a medical emergency and your instinct is to go to and send her a message, well, I don't mind you dying. Submit away, sucker! Anyway, how little fucking respect does this woman have for her readers if she has to put this. Or-more likely-what kind of idiots are some of them.


IMPORTANT MESSAGE: If you are seeking immediate assistance on a matter involving urgent health care, personal safety, the safety of others or any other issue requiring immediate attention, please do not use this e-mail or website. Instead, IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING OR HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF AN EMERGENCY INVOLVING IMMEDIATE DANGER OR PHYSICAL HARM TO YOU OR TO ANOTHER, PLEASE CALL 911 OR YOUR LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT AUTHORITIES. If you are experiencing any other type of emergency situation with which you need assistance, please click here.. Please note that we cannot reply to all e-mails sent to us or guarantee that your e-mail will be or will be immediately read. We cannot always review every e-mail that we receive.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Ha Ha! (This Isn't Funny Anymore!)

So this morning I walk into the bathroom to find my step-dad putting on just a touch of eye shadow. His hair was already carefully coiffed, and he was wearing my mom's red "Saturday night satin" blouse.

"What are you doing?" I asked him.

"I'm gonna be famous!" he told me.


"Internet, stupid," he said, and added just a touch of rouge.

When I asked him what website he sent me to this link. Apparently he is dreaming big:

After I checked the site I went back to the bathroom, where I found him puckering his lips and taking picture after (ugh!) picture of himself with his digital camera. So I was all, "Dude, if you want to be famous you should just be in an episode of House."

Monday, December 15, 2008

Oh, and what do you know?

Tonight I walked in on my step-dad trying to teach our German Shepard how to 'back that thing up.'

I was all, "I haven't even heard that song in years!"

And he was all, "I know!"

But in the end, seriously, all I wanted to do was watch a little House.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Things I've Walked In On My Step-Dad Doing

Today I caught him lighting his farts in the living room.

That really really sucked.

I was like, dude, all I wanted to do was watch a little House.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Websites I Like

location st. louis

stats blah blah blah

Soo... I've been working hard on my story about organic farming and self-sustenance, specifically in Ireland. I'm calling it All That Will Remain We Will Tear From The Ground With Our Fists. I am hopeful that a draft I feel okay sharing will be done in a couple weeks.

I've also been working on the proposal and manuscript for the book of advice for new teachers Alistair and I are writing. The newest look for the concept is The 86 Essential Questions New Teachers Should Be Asking.

And everyday I consider quitting it all to become a Buddhist priest of some sort. In any case, I've been saving my words for these two book projects, and thus no blog. But, for those of you who need shit to do all day other than the even shittier stuff you're paid to do, here is a list of the websites I like best. I realize that many of you are nothing more than different versions of me, so many of these will be familiar. But for all you ultra-religious Republican hunting Hummer drivers out who read my blog, there might be some sweet cherries to pick from this list.

The Go To (make sure to check out the Magazine, which you have to find on the menu to the left)

News Stories the Populace Likes the Most and I Sometimes Like:

Smart Daily Political/Social Commentary

Smart Longer Form Journalism

Finding Knicks Games Online:


Feeling Sentimental About Ex-Girlfriends

Inspiration From the Everyday Schmucks of the World

Pretty Pictures: