Monday, November 24, 2008

A Writer's Wall

location norfolk, virginia
statistics 1 (baby jesu's leaving here first thing in the morning)
3 (lines of note cards on the wall)
0 (how it feels to get no yes, no no, no nothing from an editor or agent after i query them)
tops (how it feels when they say yes)

For those of you curious what it's like to be a writer trying to make it in the big bad world, here's how I get by:

So... in my room I've devoted a little wall to my ideas. There are four sections: Ideas, In Progress, Ready to Pitch, and Published (just to remind myself I'm not a total schlub). In any case, as I prepare to pack and take down the wall, here's where a semester here at writing school has gotten me. Any thoughts on which Ideas you'd most like to read? Any suggestions on how to tweak them? Any thoughts on where I can pitch the done ones? Any and all words are welcome welcome welcome.

- What children of abusive marriages can do to break the cycle
- It can't just be because they're selfish... What's the real difference between Democrats and Republicans?
- Palin as Eliza Doolittle (obviously out-dated now)
- The culture of complaint
- Recruitment of the PETA army
- How I lived before I was rich and famous
- How to save the newspaper
- Book written for 9th graders explaining, in a fun, entertaining way, why a high school education is essential to happiness and success in life
- Why is there no US Oil?
- Europe on $0 a day
- Origin of the sin tax, and what else should apply
- How to save the marriage: marriage certificates expire every five years
- Profile of a local Hindu monk (who has been declared insane by the government)
- Re-thinking "Rushmore" as a play
- "We Own The Streets," a graphic novel about activist bike riders
- "Citizen," a non-fiction book about how to catalyze American's sense of citizenship, a meditation on what happened to the collective American spirit, and a search for real citizen groups among us
- Re-living and re-writing "Travels With Charley"
- How teachers can get their pay increased
- If I were president (good things we all should do like couch surf, only get dogs from the shelter, eating breakfast in cars is made illegal)
- How to be a citizen journalist (with all these newspaper lay-offs, good citizen journalists will become essentially to a thriving democracy)
- A dreamy, ironic, first person account from a girl, uhm, having group sex with a bunch of men (satire)
- Why is it so easy for politicians to lie?
- Craig of Craigslist: The Man Who Killed The Newspaper
- Who needs music education in schools when we have rock band?
- Why sex without condoms is so dope
- Humerous poem about my dad's funeral
- Poem on my thoughts on pregnant women
- The things I've stolen

In Progress

- Tales of Suburban Deviancy (book with the Masturbation thing, roommate list, poems, etc.)

- Script about Internet dating

- Script about two crack addicts on a road trip

- Organic farming in Ireland

- Please don't sex the crocodiles (and other lessons from a South African home for boys)

- Sailing/mourning in Holland

Ready to Pitch
- "Hey Dumbass, You've Got Chalk On Your Pants; The Stuff They Don't Teach You In Teacher School" (book of advice for new teachers)
- "How The iPhone Will End Cheating"
- "The Basket Pass" (memoir/essay on how my dad assauged his guilt through donating money at church... or faking it when he felt like he was good enough)
- "Learning to 3-step in Louisiana"
- "15 Rules for Happy Hitchhiking"
- Other stuff from this blog such as the poems, Roommate list

- "How To Talk To A Parent Who Is A Heart Attack Risk"
Danbury News-Times
- "Travelling: South Africa" (a travel article)
Mercedes-Benz Travel Guide
- "Is American Free Speech Worth South African Blood? The Affect Of 50 Cent On The Townships of Cape Town"
The Peace Corps Magazine
- "Local Resident Celebrates Birthday Hollywood Style" (profile on local mentally disadvangated woman)
- "Ghent Tailor With A Fine Hand, Big Heart, Will Be Missed" (story on the passing of an Italian immigrant/location institution)

1 comment:

Jamie said...

*There is psych research out there on what children of abusive marriages can do to break the cycle - that may or may not matter to you.
*The In Progress and Ready to Pitch ideas sound fabulous and I can't wait to read them. Your titles are great.
*I would like to read your article about heart attacks. And I think you should slide it under Jerry's door while he's pooping.
*So many of the ideas feel worthwhile. The one for 9th graders I feel would have a huge market. I could even see it being a requirement entering high school.
*Did you hear about the women in DC trying to offer a choice for teachers: tenure or over $100,000 salary?
*You have calmed the masses... for now...